What does this have to do with relationships?! This timely and informative article was just published by Noah Fisher, a policy fellow with Americans for Energy Leadership, and also my son (I know, no kidding). He IS the subject of at least two of my books – so there’s the connection. Seriously, it’s an impressive piece. Check it out here.
Anyone Want to be on Television!?!?!?
I’m repeating this blog in case you missed it. I’ve already heard from several folks who either live in California or whose families do, but WEtv is still looking for more people for their show.
Anyone want to be on television?! And, more importantly, receive free counseling.
WEtv is launching a new program in southern California that is designed to help families who are struggling with difficult issues, such as those involving blended families, in-laws, parent/teenagers, eating disorders, bullying, unemployment, divorce, remarriage etc.
The casting director is looking for any nuclear families (children 10 or older) that would be interested in free counseling by Dr. Tara Fields, of Oprah, CNN, Dr. Phil fame. She would interview the family in their own home or in her office over the course of a week. The network would then provide additional counseling for six weeks. They realize the seven weeks in total won’t solve problems but they are hopeful it will help families have a breakthrough.
The interviews will be taped and then will air on WEtv. There is no studio audience. If you live in southern California (which I’m envious given the winter we’re having!) or if you know someone who does, and you or they would be interested in being on this show, please let me know. Families who appear will receive a $2,000 honorarium in addition to the free therapy.
Email me at ellie@ellieslottfisher.com. If you’d like, I can put you in touch with the casting director.
11
Feb
2011
Feb
2011
A Taciturn Mother-in-Law Equals a Happy Grandparent
I just got off the phone with a woman I interviewed for It’s Either Her or Me. At the time of the interview, she hadn’t seen her grandchildren in more than two years. After years of hurtful exchanges between her and her daughter-in-law, she was effectively cut out of her grandchildren’s lives. Guess where she’s heading next weekend?
She’s flying north to New England to spend a long weekend with her son, his wife, and her two grandchildren. So what changed?
“I apologized. I apologized for everything. Even things I didn’t do,” she tells me with an ironic laugh. “It’s been great. I’ve been in touch with my family and my grandkids and now I’m spending the weekend with them.”
How difficult was it for this mom – let’s call her Jill – to apologize for some missteps and misunderstandings? “I thought it would be hard to do but it really wasn’t, and I’m certainly happy with the outcome.”
Flashback to when her daughter-in-law was pregnant. Jill couldn’t resist criticizing her for quitting her job long before her due date. That put so much pressure on my son! If it did, then that was up to the couple to decide. And then came the birth of the baby and Jill mustered up her inner Dr. Spock and freely offered parenting advice. So what’s wrong with that? New moms don’t want advice unless they ask for it. A lot of what we do as new moms is instinctive, anyway. We don’t want to hear what may have been the popular thinking 30 years earlier. Gad, we’d still be washing diapers!
When Jill says she apologized for “everything” even though, between you and me and her, she didn’t really think she had done anything so egregious, she learned a valuable lesson. New moms may be novices but they’re well-informed; they may be sleep-deprived but they’re euphoric; they may be emotionally fraught but they’re madly in love with their new baby. The last thing they want to hear from another person – ESPECIALLY the mother –in-law – is that they are bad moms. Although a mother-in-law offers advice out of love for her grandchild, such un-asked-for advice is usually viewed as critique.
Even if you’re the mother-in-law who feels you haven’t done anything to warrant the cold shoulder, consider the effect of swallowing your pride, doing a couple mea culpas, and reaching out.
Look what’s waiting for you on the other end.
06
Feb
2011
Feb
2011
Anyone Want to Be on Television?!?!
And, more importantly, receive free counseling.
WEtv is launching a new program in southern California that is designed to help families who are struggling with difficult issues, such as those involving blended families, in-laws, parent/teenagers, eating disorders, bullying, unemployment, divorce, remarriage etc.
The casting director is looking for any nuclear families (children 10 or older) that would be interested in free counseling by Dr. Tara Fields, of Oprah, CNN, Dr. Phil fame. She would interview the family in their own home or in her office over the course of a week. The network would then provide additional counseling for six weeks. They realize the seven weeks in total won’t solve problems but they are hopeful it will help families have a breakthrough.
The interviews will be taped and then will air on WEtv. There is no studio audience. If you live in southern California (which I’m envious given the winter we’re having!) or if you know someone who does, and you or they would be interested in being on this show, please let me know. Families who appear will receive a $2,000 honorarium in addition to the free therapy.
Email me at ellie@ellieslottfisher.com.
04
Feb
2011
Feb
2011
The Gray(tness) of Winter
The days are too cold, too short and too dreary. I’m shivering in my house. This, despite wearing a sweatshirt over my sweater, alpaca socks and being wrapped in a navy fleece blanket. I’m drinking tea with a vengeance. Eating food as though I’m actually hungry. Putting off outside errands, thinking they can wait till spring.
For the first time in my life, I actually toy with moving to Florida. (Toy, Mom, don’t get too excited). And I HATE Florida. This feeling sorry for my frigid Northeastern self is becoming well, rather unbecoming.
My niece just got into graduate school at Boston University. She’s so thrilled, and so is her aunt.
My daughter is at the Sundance Film Festival working, partying, getting very little sleep. She’ll call home infrequently; usually from a spot on a hotel sofa that she’s sharing with someone famous.
My son loves his new internship in Washington and his best friend from high school just asked him to be Best Man.
My spring semester started last week and, honestly I’m pretty excited about my new students. They seem energetic and engaged.
My latest blood work shows I now have the lowest cholesterol I’ve had in decades!
My boyfriend and I love nothing more than a snowed-in weekend in front of the fireplace.
Who cares if the Eagles blew their Super Bowl run, and we now have to watch the other PA team? The Phils signed Cliff Lee!
We see old friends this weekend and the next few coming up. Winter does that. It causes us to reconnect.
I’m starting a new book project that I am excited and nervous about.
The cardinals look gorgeous against the white snow, and I’m certain they appreciate that I trudge outside in the cold to keep the bird feeders filled.
My newspaper guy drives all the way up my driveway to throw my Inquirer right against the garage door. The Christmas tip paid off.
I’m starting to feel better. A little warmer. The feeling is returning to my fingers, my toes. The chill is gone.
Who am I kidding? It’s 11 degrees.
23
Jan
2011
Jan
2011
